Humor workshop participant Melissa reports:
"The role of laughter has always been important in my life. I have had to raise five children as well as care for a disabled husband; without laughter life would have indeed been depressing at times. I use laughter as often as I can to dissuade arguments and make every stressful situation better.
It's the best medicine around. I used to brighten up my aging mother's mood often before she passed away and it still brings me a great deal of comfort knowing I made such a difference in her life.
The value of humor in connections is immeasurable. If you can make someone you are talking to smile, they will be much more receptive to your message. Whether personal or business to bring a smile to someone's face makes everyone feel better about any situation."
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Summer Olympics Inspiration
Once again the Summer Olympics are setting the standards of excellence for all of us. Athletes from all over the world join the pageantry of color and achievement.
It is inspirational and causes us all to think of ways we can emulate them.
Surprisingly one way is through our footwear. And in the words of Nike many of you are already "just doing it."
Red, yellow, blue, green, even purple shoes adorn your feet as you walk or peddle bicycles to work to avoid the high price of gasoline in commuting. To say the least this is commendable.
In the spirit of the Olympics we want to remind you to always have at least one pair of black leather shoes in your cubicle for wear at work. (Being and acting professional remains a requirement here.)
It is inspirational and causes us all to think of ways we can emulate them.
Surprisingly one way is through our footwear. And in the words of Nike many of you are already "just doing it."
Red, yellow, blue, green, even purple shoes adorn your feet as you walk or peddle bicycles to work to avoid the high price of gasoline in commuting. To say the least this is commendable.
In the spirit of the Olympics we want to remind you to always have at least one pair of black leather shoes in your cubicle for wear at work. (Being and acting professional remains a requirement here.)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Employee Surveys!
Not having an engaging workforce is not a priority for most U.S. companies a new study reveals. Opinion Research Corp reports that less than half (44 per cent) conduct employee surveys.
U.S. companies are doing slightly better than those in the U.K. About 43 percent of UK employees say they are given the opportunity to share their opinions on proposed changes compare with 62 percent of U.S. employees.
When asked to comment on these findings Melvin Smith, Director of Amalgamated Net said:
"I am shocked to hear this is is the case in so many companies. We want to hear from our employees. This is the fifteenth consecutive year we have conducted employee surveys."
He continued: "This year we are expanding this effort. We will read the results. Temporary employees have already been hired to do so."
U.S. companies are doing slightly better than those in the U.K. About 43 percent of UK employees say they are given the opportunity to share their opinions on proposed changes compare with 62 percent of U.S. employees.
When asked to comment on these findings Melvin Smith, Director of Amalgamated Net said:
"I am shocked to hear this is is the case in so many companies. We want to hear from our employees. This is the fifteenth consecutive year we have conducted employee surveys."
He continued: "This year we are expanding this effort. We will read the results. Temporary employees have already been hired to do so."
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Toe the Mark
John, a workshop participant tells us this story:
"I was working on the summer BLM fire crew with others in my home town. There was a flood in our area and a ranch hand got swept away. Well, we were sent out to help search for this poor guy. My brother, who also worked on the crew, is the one who ended up finding him.
After this incident management sent in a person who was to help with our feelings. Needless to say none of us felt traumatized enough to warrant the endless counselling we were receiving. It was nice of them to try and help us but we really did not need it.
The lady doing the counselling kept going on and on and kept trying to get us to get in touch with our feelings. We understood her concern but tried communicating most of the day that we were sorry it happened but we were not in great trauma. She kept trying to get us to reveal our deepest thoughts and it was getting to the point where we could not take any more.
After asking if anyone wanted to share a traumatizing event in their life, one of the guys said he would. In a most solemn tone he went on to tell how he was driving down a country road coming back from a fire patrol. He heard a siren and an ambulance came zooming by. Right about the time it blared by, he said he saw something wrapped in gauze fall out the back. The ambulance did not stop so he pulled over to investigate. He got out, went over to the gauze and slowly opened it.
With anxiety and nervousness in his voice he said he opened the gauze and could not believe what he saw. There was a bloody toe inside the gauze!
The counsellor, with a concerned look, in her most grave voice, then asked,'what did you do?'
My friend paused, gave a look of unease, and said, 'I called a toe truck.'
To say there was laughter is an understatement. Needless to say that was the end of our counselling session. Granted it was not the most polite thing to do but it was much needed. It was in no disrespect to the man who had passed on. I believe somewhere he was laughing as well."
"I was working on the summer BLM fire crew with others in my home town. There was a flood in our area and a ranch hand got swept away. Well, we were sent out to help search for this poor guy. My brother, who also worked on the crew, is the one who ended up finding him.
After this incident management sent in a person who was to help with our feelings. Needless to say none of us felt traumatized enough to warrant the endless counselling we were receiving. It was nice of them to try and help us but we really did not need it.
The lady doing the counselling kept going on and on and kept trying to get us to get in touch with our feelings. We understood her concern but tried communicating most of the day that we were sorry it happened but we were not in great trauma. She kept trying to get us to reveal our deepest thoughts and it was getting to the point where we could not take any more.
After asking if anyone wanted to share a traumatizing event in their life, one of the guys said he would. In a most solemn tone he went on to tell how he was driving down a country road coming back from a fire patrol. He heard a siren and an ambulance came zooming by. Right about the time it blared by, he said he saw something wrapped in gauze fall out the back. The ambulance did not stop so he pulled over to investigate. He got out, went over to the gauze and slowly opened it.
With anxiety and nervousness in his voice he said he opened the gauze and could not believe what he saw. There was a bloody toe inside the gauze!
The counsellor, with a concerned look, in her most grave voice, then asked,'what did you do?'
My friend paused, gave a look of unease, and said, 'I called a toe truck.'
To say there was laughter is an understatement. Needless to say that was the end of our counselling session. Granted it was not the most polite thing to do but it was much needed. It was in no disrespect to the man who had passed on. I believe somewhere he was laughing as well."
Friday, July 18, 2008
Fat of the Land?
There is a new Japanese law which requires employers to combat obesity. The law went into effect April 1st. (April fool's day is not a recognized holiday in Japan.)
The law will force companies and governments, the two sources of health insurance in Japan to measure the body fat of employees between the ages of 40 and 74.
Employers may be required to pay more into the national health care system if the waistlines of employees, their families, and retirees exeed the government's limits.
Employers in Japan must reduce the number of employees who show symptoms of metabolic syndrome----obesity and high blood pressure, cholesterol and blood glucose.
Companies must reduce the number of obese employees by 10 per cent by 2012 and 25 per center by 2015.
In a related news release Toyota announced they will be purchasing additional businesses in the United States. They indicated that the restrictions on waistlines of employees in Japan---33.5 inches for men and 35.4 for women--will probably be expanded an "inch or so" for American employees.
The law will force companies and governments, the two sources of health insurance in Japan to measure the body fat of employees between the ages of 40 and 74.
Employers may be required to pay more into the national health care system if the waistlines of employees, their families, and retirees exeed the government's limits.
Employers in Japan must reduce the number of employees who show symptoms of metabolic syndrome----obesity and high blood pressure, cholesterol and blood glucose.
Companies must reduce the number of obese employees by 10 per cent by 2012 and 25 per center by 2015.
In a related news release Toyota announced they will be purchasing additional businesses in the United States. They indicated that the restrictions on waistlines of employees in Japan---33.5 inches for men and 35.4 for women--will probably be expanded an "inch or so" for American employees.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Manifesttly Unimportant Numbers
To: Jeffrey Williams, President, Amalgamated
Subject: Manifestly Unimportant Numbers
It is getting toward the end of the year and a summary of what is happening here in our organization is appropriate. We had high hopes that some of the things we've been working on would straighten themselves out but it doesn't look as if that will be the case.
First it apears that the business may lose its favorable bond rating. Our Comptroller left the organization for the Canary Islands, and we are missing substantial amounts of money in bonds and equities.
It further appears that our plan of giving money to selected politicians is illegal and the local press has managed to find out about it.
Apparently one of our divisions has dumped considerable amounts of waste products in ten different rivers, and the Department of Environmental Quality and Department of Justice will make a joint announcement on the penalty very shortly.
Our engineering department is now talking to representatives of the EEOC in an effort to avoid charges of discrimination.
You may remember Annabell Jones. (How could you forget Annabel Jones?) She has filed a sexual harrassment suit against two of our middle managers.
We, of course, have faced adversities before, but we believe we will overcome these and drive on to bigger and better things in the years to come.
Sincerely,
Alex DuBest, Manager
PS Before you have a seizure I want you to know that none of the above has happened. What has happened is that our sales are 10 per cent below objective, and we wanted you to realize that, in view of what could have happened, these numbers are manifestly unimportant.
Excerpt from Laughing Nine to Five
Subject: Manifestly Unimportant Numbers
It is getting toward the end of the year and a summary of what is happening here in our organization is appropriate. We had high hopes that some of the things we've been working on would straighten themselves out but it doesn't look as if that will be the case.
First it apears that the business may lose its favorable bond rating. Our Comptroller left the organization for the Canary Islands, and we are missing substantial amounts of money in bonds and equities.
It further appears that our plan of giving money to selected politicians is illegal and the local press has managed to find out about it.
Apparently one of our divisions has dumped considerable amounts of waste products in ten different rivers, and the Department of Environmental Quality and Department of Justice will make a joint announcement on the penalty very shortly.
Our engineering department is now talking to representatives of the EEOC in an effort to avoid charges of discrimination.
You may remember Annabell Jones. (How could you forget Annabel Jones?) She has filed a sexual harrassment suit against two of our middle managers.
We, of course, have faced adversities before, but we believe we will overcome these and drive on to bigger and better things in the years to come.
Sincerely,
Alex DuBest, Manager
PS Before you have a seizure I want you to know that none of the above has happened. What has happened is that our sales are 10 per cent below objective, and we wanted you to realize that, in view of what could have happened, these numbers are manifestly unimportant.
Excerpt from Laughing Nine to Five
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Portland, OR--The City That Pedals
Memo to Employees:
We are announcing today that the City of Portland is replacing 100 motor vehicles with 100 bicycles. The motor vehicles will be donated to the county to be used in monitoring renewal projects.
Ten of the bicylces wil be equipped with a carriage for carrying a passenger. In the interest of wellness 2 people can take turns pedaling as an obesity control measure as well as energy enhancement device.
In keeping with the mission of the city an additional 10 bicycles will be 10 speed. (These will be reserved for the city council and their staffs.)
This does not change the policy with regards to employees meeting at coffee shops for breaks. No more than 3 City of Portland vehicles-autos and/or bicycles- should be at any coffee shop at the same time. (The fact that there is a diminishing number of available Starbucks is no excuse for changing the policy.)
We are announcing today that the City of Portland is replacing 100 motor vehicles with 100 bicycles. The motor vehicles will be donated to the county to be used in monitoring renewal projects.
Ten of the bicylces wil be equipped with a carriage for carrying a passenger. In the interest of wellness 2 people can take turns pedaling as an obesity control measure as well as energy enhancement device.
In keeping with the mission of the city an additional 10 bicycles will be 10 speed. (These will be reserved for the city council and their staffs.)
This does not change the policy with regards to employees meeting at coffee shops for breaks. No more than 3 City of Portland vehicles-autos and/or bicycles- should be at any coffee shop at the same time. (The fact that there is a diminishing number of available Starbucks is no excuse for changing the policy.)
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
"The Levity Effect"
The Economist reviews "The Levity Effect" by Adrian Gostickand Scott Christopher. A remarkable amount of evidence supports the argument that levity pays.
The authors explain: "Fun at work can provide a competitive advantage, help attract and retain employees, and provide the spark to jumpstart creativity." A fun workplace improves communication and morale, raises the level of employee trust, lowers employee turnover and increases profit.
Fun firms use a wide range of humor strategies. Intuit has a "fun committee" that organizes events such as potluck breakfasts and jeopardy games. AstraZeneca has a "fun department" that brings "funsters" to the firm to sing, distribute toys and tell jokes.
Another firm, which lists "fun" among its core values, hands-out "Walk the Talk" awards, a set of wind-up chattering teeth presented by the chief executive, accompanied by a kazoo band. KPMG, an accounting firm, holds online contests for staff (with great prizes), and gives away barbecue packs.
The best bet may be to hire people with a sense of humor. That was the philosophy of Herb Kelleher, the legendary boss of Southwest Airlines, an airline that is actually a pleasure to fly. One of his staff delivers one of the better and curiously timely lines in the book, "We're sorry for the delay, but our automated bag smasher is broken and we are having to break your bags by hand."
The authors explain: "Fun at work can provide a competitive advantage, help attract and retain employees, and provide the spark to jumpstart creativity." A fun workplace improves communication and morale, raises the level of employee trust, lowers employee turnover and increases profit.
Fun firms use a wide range of humor strategies. Intuit has a "fun committee" that organizes events such as potluck breakfasts and jeopardy games. AstraZeneca has a "fun department" that brings "funsters" to the firm to sing, distribute toys and tell jokes.
Another firm, which lists "fun" among its core values, hands-out "Walk the Talk" awards, a set of wind-up chattering teeth presented by the chief executive, accompanied by a kazoo band. KPMG, an accounting firm, holds online contests for staff (with great prizes), and gives away barbecue packs.
The best bet may be to hire people with a sense of humor. That was the philosophy of Herb Kelleher, the legendary boss of Southwest Airlines, an airline that is actually a pleasure to fly. One of his staff delivers one of the better and curiously timely lines in the book, "We're sorry for the delay, but our automated bag smasher is broken and we are having to break your bags by hand."
Monday, July 7, 2008
New Revenue Stream from Google
To all employees:
We are pleased to announce that we have a new business opportunity in partnership with Google.
Coincident with a federal judge's ruling, Google will release all user data on the viewing habits of its millions of worldwide viewers of You Tube.
With our extensive complementary data base we will be able to forward this information----the employee users to their respective employers. We will share compensation with Google on a nfpe (nominal fee per employee) basis.
This exciting new niche should provide a profitable revenue stream for us. As a trial we will begin with our own employee base. Starting tomorrow.
Friday, July 4, 2008
The Middle Child Strikes Again
It is profound to note here that your place of work is filled with oldest children, middle children, and babies. In my humor class I ask students to identify where they were and what was funny about it. This wonderful response came from Katrina:
"I was born at a very early age in life, as many were. I was the youngest. It was really fun being the youngest. I got to do anything my little heart desired, including biting, without consequence my two older sisters. My niche in life was being the youngest and used it to my every advantage.
One day while basking in my two year old little glory, my mother, the conniving joker of a woman she is, brought a baby home from who knows where. The brown hair baby girl suddenly took my spot ---as the youngest. I was the second youngest. This was still OK. Not perfect but it would do. My cute locks of gold flittered in the sun and my big blue eyes could still win anything.
After getting settled in my second youngest spot SHE DID IT AGAIN!! MY SISTER'S MOTHER BROUGHT HOME ANOTHER BABY. The least she could have done was bring home a boy, but oh no...she brought a girl. Not just any girl, but one with blond hair and blue eyes. Another version of me.
And that is when the term 'youngest' was forever stricken from my title. The "Middle Child" was my new devastating title. Two older sisters, two younger sisters. Two older to manipulate and scar me, two younger to screech and get me grounded. It didn't dawn on me until later in life that my parents had always had it in for me. The other children had sweet names like Aubry, Molly, Emily, and Shelly. I was named Katrina in anticipation of the horrible hurricane to follow."
Management note: Be careful of fellow employees in the workplace who are middle children---particularly if they have a great sense of humor.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Memo to Call Centers in India
This is to alert you that call volumes will be down on Friday. It is the 4th of July. You may not even have many calls on Thursday. Why? It is Independence Day in the United States and Americans celebrate early and long....particularly if a three day time off period is available.
Instead of taking out verbal pyrotechnics on you because of the foibles of company products and services which you represent (and are trying to defend), Americans will, for a short time, be throwing real fire crackers and lighting sparklers.
All this is fine and good but the real problem is how should you spend your time when the volume of calls are down. Here is our recommendation: Study English! We should be more specific study American English.
To help you with this effort we have assembled a number of American words along with their English (UK) counterparts---the first row being American:
Affirmative Action vs. positive discrimination
Airplane vs. fixed wing aircraft
Blood sausage vs. black pudding
Bobby pin vs. hair grip
Booger vs. bogey
Buddy vs. mate
Cellphone vs. mobile
Counterclockwise vs. anti-clockwise
Doohickey vs. wotsit
Duct tape vs. gafter tape
Dude vs. bloke
Flashlight vs. torch
Freshman vs. fresher
Garbage vs. rubbish
Green thumb vs. green fingers
Half-bath vs. WC
Play hookey vs. bunk off
Mom vs. mum
Mono vs. glandular fever
Overpass vs flyover
Stool pigeon vs. grasser
Trash can vs. dust bin
Undershirt vs. singlet
Windshield vs. windscreen
Y'all vs. youse
Popsicle vs. ice jolly
Plumber's crack vs. Builder's bum
This will get you started. There will be a test on Monday.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Whitewashing Problems
Melissa, a humor in the workplace student, offers this example of how humor saved a situation and dissolved a crises:
"One time while painting my house, I sent my son up the ladder to paint the side trim. He had the whole gallon of paint that he was holding by the handle while making his way to the top of our three story house.
Just as he got to the top the handle broke and sprayed the opposing trim color all over the side of the newly painted house.
We could have been furious at the result but our humor saved the day; we busted out laughing and quickly got the hose and sprayed him as well as the house to fix the newly created problem."
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