Safety First!

One of the most important tasks in our organization is to do our various jobs safely. Our safety record here has been less than adequate to say the least.

So here is what we plan to do in the future. We are establishing an incentive plan to encourage employees to be safe. Here is how the plan works: If we have no accidents for the next three months a lottery will be established for employees.

Winners will be entitled to choices of weekend trips, a set of golf clubs, and/or matching luggage.

Not only will this improve our safety performance, but it should discourage reporting trivial type accidents that really stretch the concept of what is an accident.

Of course real accidents should be reported. The company pledges to not terminate any employee who raises a safety concern.

"The Levity Effect"

Here are excerpts of a review found at Economist.com of "The Levity Effect" by Adrian Gostick and Scott Christopher:

"The Levity Effect" argues for lightening things up with such earnestness that it would pass for a spoof by the writers of 'The Office', a wonderful sitcom that revolves around a boss's excruciatingly awkward attempts at jocular banter with the staff. Indeed one of the book's 142 ways to have fun at work is to hold a marathon of 'The Office' at the office. Gather everyone to watch the best episodes of NBC's hit show during lunch for a week.

A remarkable amount of evidence supports the argument that levity pays. 'Fun at Work', Messrs Gostick and Christopher explain, 'can provide a competitive advantage, help attract and retain employees, and provide the spark to jump start creativity.' A fun workplace improves communication and morale, raises the level of employee trust, lowers employee turnover and increases profits.

Fun firms use a wide range of humor strategies. Intuit has a 'fun committee' that organises events such as potluck breakfasts and jeapordy games. AstraZeneca has a 'fun department' that brings 'funsters' to the firm to sing, distribute toys and tell jokes.

Another firm, which list fun among its core values, hands-out "Walk the Talk' awards, a set of wind-up chattering teeth presented by the chief executive accompanied by a kazoo band. KPMG, an accounting firm, holds online contest for staff (with great prizes) and gives away barbecue packs.

The best bet may be to hire people with a sense of humor. That was the philosophy of Herb Kelleher, the legendary boss of Southwest Airlines, an airline that is actually a pleasure to fly. One of this staff delivers one of the better and curiously timely lines in the book, 'We're sorry for the delay, but our automated bag smasher is broken and we are having to break your bags by hand.'"

Workers Retiring in Stages?

A new study by Hewitt Associates found 61 % of U.S. companies have or will develop programs that let workers retire in stages.

Retaining worker experience and skills was cited as the most important reason for offering such programs by 72 % of the companies. Only 5 % of such programs are formalized.

When asked about the plans at Amalgamated Manufacturing, President Claude Perkins said, "We have mixed feelings about the subject. There is considerable evidence that long term employees have already retired on the job."

He was made aware of a study by Employee Benefit Research suggesting that flexible work arrangements, a bump in pay, or even more meaningful work could persuade workers to delay retirement.

Perkins commented, "Flexible hours for older employees would cause longer hours for supervision. More pay would further reduce productivity and more meaningful work would set an unfortunate precedent. Younger employees would question why they had to wait for these opportunities and, at the same time, carry old age workers."

New Rest Room Procedure

To: All Employees

In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the rest rooms under informal guidelines. Effective the beginning of next month, a Rest Room Trip Policy (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's rest room times and ensuring equal treatment of all employees.

Under this policy, a "RESTROOM TRIP BANK (RTB) will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a REST ROOM TRIP CREDIT (RTC) of twenty. Rest room credits can be accumulated from month to month.

Starting next month, the entrance of all rest rooms will be equipped with personnel identification stations and computer-linked voice print recognition devices. Before the end of this month, each employee must provide two copies of voice prints (one normal, one under stress) to the System Operator. The voice print recognition stations will be operational but not restrictive, for the first month; employees should acquaint themselves with the stations during that period.

If an employee's REST ROOM TRIP BANK balance reaches zero, the doors of the rest room will not unlock for the employee's voice until the first of the next month. In addition, all rest room stalls are being equipped with timed paper roll retractors. If the stall is occupied for more than three minutes, an alarm will sound. Thirty seconds after the alarm sounds, the roll of paper in the stall will retract, the toilet will flush and the stall door will open. If the stall remains occupied, your picture will be taken.

The picture will then be posted on the bulletin board located outside the cafeteria. This is being done to eliminate "dilly-dallying" in the rest rooms. Any one whose picture shows up three times will immediately be terminated.

One final caution: this system will always work if you go the rest room where you have been assigned. We cannot guarantee that your voice print will work in other rest rooms in the building, and we suggest you not test it---particularly if the urge is pressing.

If you have any questions about the new policy, please ask your supervisor.

(There are some who think that this widely circulated memo is totally acceptable. Why? It could be that it sounds too authentic. When it has been read in jest to some work groups there are people who really believe it. After all, "It sounds a lot like the other memos we get around here.")

Excerpt from the book: "Laughing Nine to Five"

More Evidence

Lynn, a humor in the workplace student offers more input on the value of laughter and humor at work:

"Business executives have long known that satisfied employees are more productive. Unfortunately it has taken a long time for them to realize that lightening up is one of the easiest ways to create satisfaction.  Humor builds employee morale and decreases employee burnout rates. It helps us clear our heads and entertain ourselves and our co-workers. It makes hard tasks easier and actually creates an environment conducive to success.

Professor Stu Robertshaw of the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse claims that laughter is good for business.  Robertshaw noted that one corporate study showed that after a trial period during which humor was incorporated into the workplace in a variety of ways---including everything from a special humor bulletin board to silly hat days---the company experienced a 21 % decrease in staff turnover and a 38 % decrease in Friday absenteeism. "