Keeping Employees Youthful Memo

We are always on the lookout for projects that will enhance our attractiveness to customers and stockholders. It would seem that considering employee benefits in the same breath would be counterproductive.  

This is absolutely not the case. What's good for customers and stockholders is good for employees as well.  But this is more than a trickle down theory.

In a recent marketing survey we have learned that customers respond very well to employees who are active, cheerful, and youthful.  This is supported by responses from stockholders to company reports featuring pictures of our youthful employees, smiling as they do their work.

This would seem to be a solid argument for hiring only the young in our business. We do that. But even new employees get old over a period of time.

So we have taken a solid look at our benefits package. It has been surmised that we could offer early retirements to older employees. This is out of the question. It would be much too expensive.

Brainstorming the problem has led us to a benefit package enhancement:  After a $100 deductible, all employees over 40 will have free botox injections. 

It is the well considered judgement of management that this will insure our corporate vitality.