Thursday, December 11, 2008

Management Memo: Holiday Turkeys

We regret that we will not be able to buy turkeys or hams for employees this year. We were sure that we had enough money in the budget after the healthy reduction in employees this year.

In fact we had already purchased turkeys which are now in cold storeage. However, our corporate attorneys strongly recommended that we do not distribute them, suggesting that since we would be cutting benefits across the board prior to the beginning of the year it would be sending a false message of affluence.

However, all is not lost. We are donating the turkeys to our company cafeterias and offering lunch time turkey dinners at reduced prices. Retired employees are asked to secure a pass from security to take advantage of this offer.

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