You need help during the holidays to avoid stress. Here are a few suggestions:
- On buffet day come in as a light bulb and show people you are enlightened.
- For the office candy dish give public recognition to those who bring in chocolate instead of the hard stuff
- Break down a door somewhere; Walmart set the precedent
- List the url for that famous book: "Laughing Nine to Five" in your favorites; prove you are not mean spirited
- If they find you dozing in front of your computer tell them that this is the moral way to sleep your way to the top
- Put red and blue tape around your cubicle to let everyone know the election is over
- Put yellow tape around the cubicle as a signal that you are willing to work for the government when you leave where you are.
- Tell them you know how to fix bridges (you slept under them)
- Again to the office buffet: Bring in lutefisk or sushi soaked in lye; next time you will only be asked to bring olives or potato chips.