As soon as you hear that your managers are attending a new training program you must get yourself ready for what they bring back to you. For the moment though we will let you know what programs are under consideration.
They will be introduced with the words: "Management by.....":
- Abrasion: Employees will wear down and do what you tell them
- Accident: The emphasis will be on reaction rather than action
- Conjecture: Inferences will be based upon incomplete evidence. (What management has learned from the war.)
- Damage Control: New procedures introduced by our Accounting Department
- Entrapment: Reducing employee benefits on a gradual basis
- Euphemism: The substitution of mild terms for all actions, e.g. wellness enhancement
- Exception: Will concentrate efforts on finding things that don't work (coordinated with existing program of assessing blame)
- Hierarchy: Re-acquainting employees with higher management by use of pictures on playing cards
- Hysteria: A new focus on the value of shredders
- Make Believe: A new spin on last quarter results
- Pittance: The introduction of new pay scales
- Retrenchment: Multi-tasking with a new name
- Spot Check: A new quality inspection program adapted from the dry-cleaning industry
- Surprise: A new program featuring listening to employees
We fear that we have not listed all the programs that are on the way. We need your help in keeping up to date. If, for example, you see a large shipment of new binders for management send us an email. (fahlman.clyde@gmail.com)
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