This Lady is Funny

The following extraordinarily funny piece was submitted by a humor workshop participant:

"My crazy family. How can you not laugh?

If we weren't laughing we would either be crying or locked up with the men in the white coats. Almost every day I am in touch with one of my four sisters, mom, and dad. And almost everyday, we are laughing about something. It might be a quick three second call to say one word, triggering an inside joke, such as "toe pick" or remembering about the time a sister who worked for the airlines for 10 plus years getting on a wrong plane to a wrong city (just weeks ago) or a sister who freaked out because the water wouldn't drain in the bathtub. (Later she found out it was because the plug was up.)

Because of how I was raised and how I see things-glass always half full with a hole on the side-people are drawn to me because of the humor. While working or in a class, I observe the people I am around. While I do learn their names, I pick up on little things they do or say, and give them nicknames in my head so it is easier to remember them. In one recent class there was a girl I called, 'The Like Factor.' In one 30 second commentary she made in the class, she said 'like'
14 times. There was another girl who was named Christy Brinkley so she was nicknamed 'The Brinkster.'

In a previous job, I was an operator for a large department store. Just before we opened one day I received a call from a sales associate on the floor who needed housekeeping. Housekeeping wasn't in yet so I asked how I could help. She spoke with more self control then I've ever seen,'I have a customer who lost her dog's glass eye yesterday and was wondering if housekeeping had vacuumed it up.' The following day, that associate received from an anonymous co-worker, a bag of shooter marbles.

My joker grandfather's favorite song was Opus 5, a wonderful swing song he enjoyed dancing to. He always joked that we would know if he was really dead by playing the song at his funeral and if his body didn't move, he was gone. So naturally, at his funeral, that story was told and the song was played. Over 500 sets of eyes stared intently at the casket, as we truly realized he was gone from this life.

It's no worse then my great aunt wanting to exhume her mother's body (who had been dead for 40 years) to see if the bracelet she was buried with was worth any money. Sick, yes. Sad? Could be...... if we didn't laugh."